Introduction
Grief is a universal experience. Nobody can say their household has not experienced a loss or grieved ever. But that is how life has worked from the beginning of civilization. Humans thrived and survived when they lived in groups back then and formed emotional connections with one another. And grief is a natural reaction to the absence of a person from one’s family or community.
The closer the connection, the stronger the agony and grief. But kids must not be misled, instead, they should be guided through grief and loss to emerge stronger. Of course, the explanation of life and death and loss should be age-appropriate, but it should be done as and when required. An excellent way of helping kids cope with grief is by teaching them mindfulness.
What Is Mindful Grief?
Mindfulness is the ability of human beings to live fully in the present by being aware of our words and actions without being overwhelmed or overly reactive to any situational or environmental triggers. Awareness is experienced via various senses like smell, taste, touch, sight, sound, and state of mind.
When one grieves mindfully, they pay attention to what’s happening around them without obsessing over their loss. The goal of mindful grief is to make kids resilient and reflective enough to manage, survive, cope, and deal with loss without trying to ‘fix’ it. Most people commonly misunderstand mindful grief as the crux of the problem and try to correct it, when it is a normal reaction to loss.
Mindfulness helps children undergo the common stages of grief, such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally arrive at acceptance. It eases their transition back to normal life and helps them handle any negative emotions that may arise in them. Here’s a quick guide to mindfulness techniques that help children deal with grief and loss in life.
Mindfulness Techniques To Help Kids Deal With Grief And Loss
1. Acknowledge And Accept The Pain
It Is important for kids to understand and acknowledge the loss. While very young children will not fully comprehend the concept of loss, it is ideal to let them experience the feeling. Let them feel sad, cry, and express their pain to accept the permanence of the loss, with time.
2. Express Feelings
Do not force your kids to view a loss positively. They may wish to make a sad drawing with a blue sun and black flowers, for example. Let them. The sun may not feel warm and bright enough to them, and the flowers may not feel as sweet. Try casually talking to them about the colors they chose and how they feel about the painting. Allow your kids to express their emotions constructively, irrespective of whether they are positive or negative. This makes the experience cathartic for them.
3. Try Meditation And Breathing Exercises
Meditation works wonders for grieving kids. As they may initially not wish to sit and think about their loss, you can start small with breathing exercises. When your child feels upset or scared, help them anchor their emotions in the present by guiding and doing breathing exercises together, like deep breathing or body scan breathing. This helps them feel less overwhelmed and anxious.
4. Let Them Know They Are Not Alone
Often, when kids suffer a big loss, like the death of a primary caregiver or surviving a disaster but losing their house to it, they feel all alone. It is like all of the earth’s burdens are weighing upon their tiny shoulders. In such times it is imperative to make them feel safe and secure, to let them know that they are loved and not alone.
5. Create Healthy Boundaries
Teach kids how to form healthy boundaries from a young age. Some children prefer lots of company to deal with loss, while others like being left alone. As your kids grow and learn to communicate and express their needs and emotions, teach them to establish and enforce healthy boundaries in such instances to avoid being overwhelmed.
6. Get ‘Unstuck’
Often, kids focus so much on dealing with their emotions mindfully and positively, that they forget to grieve and go through the process. Everybody grieves differently, and one person’s formula may not work for another. In such cases, children often get ‘stuck’ in grief without realizing it. This suppressed feeling can resurface any time after that, often in a disruptive or explosive manner, as more time passes. Therefore, it is ideal to help kids get ‘unstuck’ and find closure in their own way. Mindfulness has a universal definition but infinite forms of application.
Conclusion
Every child is unique, as is their way of viewing life, world, and loss. There cannot be a single formula for addressing every kind of grief out there. But a uniform, mindful approach to grief and life can be taught to kids, as they will customize it according to their needs from time to time. All you need is patience and this handy guide to help you succeed in this lifelong, fulfilling endeavor.
References
The views expressed are that of the expert alone.