Introduction
Life is a long and difficult path that every human must eventually overcome. To ensure their kids are safe, parents are there to guide them through its nuances, while preparing them for the solo journey in the future. But, since many parents worry and try to get their kids well-prepared for life, they often end up overestimating their expectations and pressuring their kids. As parents only want the best for their kids, they set goals and bring them up with those expectations in mind. But the reality may not always match, and the expectations may pile up, beginning to suffocate your kid. As a parent and the more mature person in this relationship, you need to manage your expectations according to the kind of person your child turns out to be. Of course, you will teach them right from wrong and expect them to be kind and honest, these are justifiable. But to hope and force your kid to become a doctor or a lawyer, to fulfill your respective unfulfilled desires is not the way. Nor is trying to stop them from ‘repeating the same mistakes you did’. Teach them the right things, advise against the wrong things, and keep an eye. You cannot protect them from every little thing in life. Also, they need to make their own set of mistakes and learn from them. Their personal struggles will never be the same as yours, so your fears and expectations should not govern their life but alert them. Here is a quick guide on top tips to manage parental expectations.
Top Tips For Managing Parental Expectations
Set Realistic Goals For Kids
It is important to set realistic goals for kids. If your child likes painting but you wish to get them into football, it is not going to happen. You should foster different hobbies and interests in your kids. Why not try to strike a balance? You can appreciate and adore their painting skills, while they can try football. If things do not go your way, learn to accept, and let it go. Both your and your child’s expectations get hurt when you do not respect their choices and keep trying to get your way because you are the boss.
Keep Realistic Expectations Of Yourself
It is ideal to maintain realistic expectations of yourself as well. You are a parent, not Iron Man. If you believe you are worn out and need a quiet night in while the rest of the family wishes to watch a movie, explain your predicament. Neither party should have to suffer. Your kids can watch the film with the other parents or family members, while you read a book and eat some ice cream alone. Parents need to unwind too, they are not robots and must be reminded to function accordingly, from time to time.
Communicate With Your Kids
The best way to manage parental expectations is by communicating with your kids. Learn to take conversation breaks if things get too heated or the communication is ineffective. You and your kids may often be at crossheads with one another, but the important thing to remember is that you two are on the same team. So, sit down for a safe conversation with your kids and listen with an open mind.
Respect Parenting Differences
Often, parenting expectations may clash between moms and dads. This does not mean that either of them is wrong, but that they approach the same problem differently. As to whose way is more effective is a later prerogative. It is important to respect the different parenting styles out there. Your primary goal should be parenting your kids well, not being right all the time.
Be Consistent
While establishing rules and boundaries, maintain consistency. Children rarely respect or obey parents who are not consistent, either in rewarding or punishing them. Consistency sets the precedence for good and corrective behavior while maintaining parental expectations. It also sorts out your kid’s expectations as they are aware which actions of theirs will be rewarded, and which will get them grounded.
Seek Help But Constructively
Seeking help when it is hard to cope with parenting demands and expectations is normal. It is ideal to have friends, peers, and family nearby for any urgent help you need. But while you may be resisting the urge to spill the latest gossip on your children, be careful about who you share your parenting concerns with. Seeking comfort is one thing, but confiding and getting parenting advice from others is another thing altogether. Always seek help and confide in reliable people only. You do not want these parenting opinions to reach your child’s ears, not everything is for everyone to listen to.
Conclusion
It is always easier to parent children when both parents and kids are aware of each other’s goals and expectations and work together towards fulfilling them. While adolescence will bring a fresh set of challenges for parents, these top tips to manage parental expectations may help them ace it.
The views expressed are that of the expert alone.
